Vulnerability... Not a state in which many of us like to find ourselves. When a person goes through painful experiences, they have no choice but to become vulnerable at some point. I found myself here yesterday, Day 5.
After being so incredibly busy with getting the house ready to sell, I have put off getting my hair done. Yes, for us ladies, this is a big deal. It was another sign of neglecting myself. So, following my promise of self-care, I set the appointment.
As soon as I sat in the chair I wanted to cry. There I was staring at myself in the mirror. Tired eyes, worn out posture, and thin hair. See, there's something nobody tells you when you go through great amounts of stress-- Your hair falls out. Literally, I've lost half of my hair. My hair is so much of ME, my personality, my comfort. I had long, thick, curly hair. I loved it! Now, it's thin, wispy, frizzy and short. The hardest appointment for me to face since I lost my boy is the hair dresser.
Thank goodness I love my stylist, Jillyn (J Salon, in Parker) I've known her for years. She's met both of my kiddos, we've shared amazing stories and tears, and she has been so supportive. And no matter how vulnerable I feel when I come in, I always leave feeling beautiful. She's a genius with hair!
Strength... Last night I went to our local hangout with my boyfriend and all of our friends. This was my first time actually being in the bar, in front of my friends since I started this journey. Let me just say that I have an amazing group of friends. Everyone was so supportive. I was not like the elephant in the room. Instead, we talked openly about my journey, and how I was not drinking. Whew, big step!
I have to say, I was nervous about entering that situation. I normally don't get on a dance floor until I've had a drink or a shot. But instead, I felt energized by my friends and being sober! I had more fun than I've had in a long time.
So today, Day 6, I'm riding that strength. It felt great to wake up clear-minded and ready to face my day. I have 10 showings on my house today!!! I'm ready for the gym, and to face the public. I'm not kicking myself for drinking so much the night before, and feeling like s#*t. I'm not obsessing over whether or not I'll drink tonight. I just know I won't, and that's a HUGE relief! Love and Light